Blog Post
Control?
Janet Martin • August 29, 2019
We control very little and yet....
Control is a funny thing—we keep thinking that we have control over what happens and life keeps letting us know that we have very little. I have spent a great deal of my life trying to control things. As a result I spent a lot of time being frustrated when things didn’t go the way I wanted or when people made choices I thought were foolish or just plain dumb (my value judgement—clearly not theirs!)
Mindfulness has taught me I control very little—plans change, things happen, people change their minds, and something I think was decided becomes undecided. The last couple of days have been particularly marked by things outside my control—several people’s plans for this weekend have had to change, a professional matter that I thought was resolved has taken a lot of time and thought, the weather is not as warm as I had hoped and I am not sure how many people I am cooking for on the various nights this weekend etc.
And yet I am calm and relaxed. That is not to say I didn’t have a moment or two where I needed to sit with my feelings, but I am ok and happy. That is the gift of knowing that I only control me—not always perfectly but much better than in the past. I am in charge of my intentions and my actions. That is all. The rest is out of my control.
I can be flexible and enjoy the ride or I can rail against things I can’t do anything about. I intend to enjoy!
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About Janet Martin
Janet Martin, the owner and principal teacher of Making Headway, brings a unique and practical perspective to her mindfulness teaching and coaching.
Janet began her mindfulness practice when she was a senior executive. The experience was life changing. She knows firsthand that through meditation practice, people are better able to meet the demands and stresses of everyday life.
